Not Speaking Your Spouse’s Love Language May Be the Reason Your Marriage Is Struggling

How full is your “love tank”?

David Onu, MD
5 min readAug 1, 2022


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A couple admiring each other
Image by Artem Podrez on Pexels

Are you married or in a significant relationship?

Do you struggle to understand what your man or woman wants in your relationship?

If yes, this article may be of interest to you.

I will discuss the fundamental concept of love languages and how that may apply to the success of your marriage or significant relationship.

The love language is your partner’s preferred means of receiving love and affection from you and is part of their emotional needs.

You and your spouse usually speak different love languages, making navigating difficult. But, speaking your partner’s love language fuels romantic love by filling your “love” tanks.

The five love languages in relationships

According to Gary Chapman’s book (no affiliate link), the following are the standard five love languages in marriage:

  • Words of affirmation
  • Quality time
  • Receiving gifts
  • Acts of service
  • Physical touch, including sexual intimacy

1/ Words of Affirmation

“Behind every successful man should be an admiring wife- and vice versa.”

David Onu

People who speak this love language respond better to words than actions.

That means saying “I love you” or sending a heartfelt SMS can make their day.

Acknowledge their good attributes and accomplishments.



David Onu, MD

I’m an Australian Specialist Medic who inspires people through my writing to grow their relationships, whether married or single and be healthy.